Friday, February 25, 2011

My Dream Wedding - Second Chances

As if anyone here hasn't already heard, I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!

Yes,I am already married, legally. Vaughn and I were married at the Justice of the Peace December 18, 2007. We plan to have a "real wedding" or, as my cousin and matron of honor so eloquently put it, a covenant ceremony on December 15, 2012.

In planning this wedding, I have been faced with some "etiquette" questions, rules and barriers. I, and probably any of you who have recently planned a second wedding, went to the internet for help in what to call things, how to work things and how to "properly" do all of this. I hit the same brick wall every single called "etiquette experts" saying that I was wrong, selfish, greedy and an embarrassment to my family for having this ceremony and even more so for calling it a wedding. If you are planning a second wedding, for whatever reason, hang with me, sisters. I am going to have MY wedding. I will explain why, how and take you through the process with me over the next two years. You can decide for yourself if it is "proper" for you, but I am not ashamed and my family and wedding party is not either. I promise, if any of my family reads this and you are embarrassed, and don't want to come, I will understand, but please read my reasoning and plans before you attempt to make a judgment.

I think the first thing you need to evaluate is WHY are you having this wedding? Maybe you didn't have the money for a wedding the first time. Maybe you got married quickly and didn't have the time to plan a wedding. Maybe a family member became ill during the planning of your initial wedding and you JP'd it to be able to devote yourself to the situation. Maybe you're celebrating a huge milestone like 25 or 50 years. Maybe your marriage has faced hardships and you want to re-devote your covenant with one another to mark the beginning of a new covenant. There are many logical and understandable reasons why some couples JP it the first time and choose to have their "wedding" later. That being said, if you simply LOVED your first wedding and just want to plan another for the fun of it, that may not be so grand an idea.

God saw fit to create with us a "New Covenant", Jesus Christ, after the first covenant was broken. God makes us a "New Creation" when we come to Him. Is our God a God of second chances? Absolutely. So will He bless a new covenant between a husband and wife that He created to be one flesh? I believe so.

What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary says:
1: a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities : nuptials
2: an act, process, or instance of joining in close association
It also says that marriage is: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law or by the church

So is this a wedding? Absolutely. Yes, we were legally married in 2007. We now want a covenant ceremony. We will covenant with one another and God to continue to live together according to the Word of God. To continue to love one another and submit to one another in the Lord, and be helpers in all that comes our way. Continue to be true both in sickness and health, both when things are going well and when there are difficulties? And continue to be faithful as long as we both shall live.

That, my friends is a wedding. That is what each of us deserves. To stand in front of our friends, family members and church family and publicly covenant to love one another.

I do believe that it would be wrong to register for gifts, so we will not be doing that. We will not have an engagement party, but an announcement or proclamation party to proclaim our love for God and one another, and to proclaim our intention of having this wedding and to proclaim who our bridal party members will be. We will be having a Bridal party and a Bridal shower, as I am and will always be his we will always be Christ's bride. However, at the bridal shower, I will not be requesting gifts, just having a party to celebrate the wedding and have my friends "shower" me with their love. If they insist on gifts, perhaps personal items, bath items, things that will be used rather than stored, as my home is already set up.

If you are planning a similar wedding or a regular one, if you are a friend or family member, or if you simply want to come along for the ride, I would love to have you join me in this journey. I have much more to share, but this post has gotten long already. I can't promise to follow "proper etiquette" to the tee, but I do promise it will be fun. Join me, will you?

Please feel free to leave comments. Understand that friendly discussion is welcome but flaming of any kind will not be tolerated.

Have a wonderful day!!


muleandhorse said...

Congradulations to you both! I think this is a wonderful idea and a great opportuntiy to share love not only with you beloved but your family and friends as well. Really this is prolly a better way to have a wedding. :)

Kaci Lusk said...

Thanks Linda, we are so blessed to be able to do this. We couldn't afford it the first time, so this is a dream come true!

Kaci Lusk said...

Oh, and it's going in my next post, but you can view our wedding website at

Enjoli DeLeon said...

Who honestly has the authority to say what is "right" when it comes to a "second wedding"? My husband shot a wedding once where the couple legally married 3 days prior to their wedding because they wanted that to be their anniversary date. It was special to them. Then they had their wedding on the weekend when everyone could join them. I dont really see any difference here. I say you have your wedding and dont worry anything about judgement. It is for you t decide. Not every body else!!