Saturday, October 21, 2006

Faith - revisited.

Its funny how you can get something totally different out of a pastor's
lesson if you listen to what God wants you to get from it, something
completely unrelated to what the pastor is delivering to the group. I love
Bill's lessons on the book of Roman's. I am learning every week what it
means to be a true worshipper. Tonight, however, the message I got came in
the middle of Bill's intended lesson. It was another message on faith.

I've hung on to something for a very long time. I've been reluctant to let
this thing go, because I guess part of me used the pain, the anger in some
way to justify some of the sins I was holding onto. "Well, I smoke because I
can't deal with it." or "It's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." or whatever
myriad of excuses I decided to claim at the moment to justify my obvious
fall. Maybe it wasn't even a fall noticeable by the world, but a fall that I
personally felt chastened for because I do hear God's voice and I knew he
was disappointed.

If you've been with me since the beginning of Kaci's ramblings, you'll
remember my driving for an hour weeping because I hurt my Father. I am
thankful I felt that, I am thankful I know my Father's voice well enough to
feel his dismay at my disobedience. Now is the time for obedience. Now is
the time to let go of that thing or those things that happened to the child
that cannot be changed and must be turned loose. I must grab hold of the
faith that leads to understanding and turn loose of the acts that were
beyond my control. I must trust that those things that were made ugly by man
can be made beautiful once again by the Savior. I must set that anger and
resentment free, thus setting myself free.

In order for the woman to stand in the light of God's love, the child must
step out of the darkness.

Do you have something you're holding onto? Is there darkness in your life
that needs to be illuminated? Let go, let God. If you don't know the Father,
please, ask someone. Email me, call me, call a pastor, go to a church...
whatever you feel comfortable with, but please, don't walk in the darkness
when there is light within reach. If you are a believer, and you need prayer
please let me pray for you.

God bless you tonight,

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