I've noticed that when I have something weighing heavily on me, when I have sin interfering with my relationship with my Father, I can't write. Its been a while. If you're used to getting my ramblings, then you know it has been a while. I apologize for those of you who have been missing my writings, but I assure you, God has been teaching me a valuable lesson...a lesson in letting go.
First, I had to learn about letting go by saying goodbye to a beautiful woman. My family laid my grandmother in the arms of the Father this week. Praise the Lord, her suffering is over. I know that she is now rejoicing in Heaven at the feet of the Father and no longer feeling any pain.
At the funeral I was hurting, I was crying and I was in so much pain that I stood there, turning around and around, looking for my daddy for comfort and I couldn't find him. He was right beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me as I cried. This picture showed me something. So many times, I know that my heavenly Father has seen me standing there looking for comfort, seeking, seeking and all He wanted from me was to turn to Him so He could wrap His arms around me and hold me as I cried. Another way God uses real life to paint a picture of how He feels for us.
I also learned about letting go another way this week. I had this relationship. A relationship that God had intended for friendship. A friendship that God created, but I took and turned into something else. I made it about love, not real love but love that I had created. It wasn't right, and no matter how I tried to justify it, it got uglier and uglier to the point of causing emotional pain. I almost lost a friend. I almost let my own emotion stand in the way of spiritual maturity, not just mine, but my friend's as well.
It was only when I realized that I wasn't right, accepted that this was all my doing and gave it to God, that I was set free from the pain I had trapped myself in. I had to give it to God, not ask Him to take it from me, but give it to Him, completely and freely. I had to LET GO. And when I did, when I honestly and truly gave that thing to God, I found peace. I know that God has a plan for me. I know that God has brought me to this place, to this town, to this church, so that He can equip me for the calling He has placed on my life. I know that now I can continue to mature in His love, in faith, in the ministry He has planned for me. Now that I have let go.
Do you have something you need to let go of today? Do you have your fingerprints all over something that God had intended to be something totally different? If so, make that decision. Give it to Him and set yourself free from the pain that you are causing yourself. I promise you
will be glad you did.
If I can pray for you, please let me know.
Kaci M. Boggs
~It is only abiding that can really satisfy the thirsty soul. Andrew Murray