Monday, August 12, 2013

Love is....

I Corinthians 13: 4-13. As Christian women, we love this section of the Bible. It is the topic of countless memes sent via Home Interiors decor, email quotes, Facebook images and more. It is the romantic hope of our Prince Charming as young ladies. It is Spiritual food during those first few years as a young wife. It is a standing ground during many late night arguments, pleas for marital attention, and early morning meetings with the Father (sobbing, on our knees). 

Some of you have noticed I've been silent for a while. Wedding plans stopped, life took an ugly turn for the worse, and I found myself in a dark, desolate place in my life. . . but here we are. God brought me back here. Back to this place where I seek Him through prayer, through study, through writing - and then - I share it with you. 

In less than a year I have been at the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I have been planning a wedding, charged with a crime, incarcerated, sold everything we owned to start a new life, separated from my husband, moved (at least) three times, been through an amazing Spiritual and emotional training, donated a kidney to save the life of a stranger, and reunited with my love. It is an understatement when I tell you that it has been a VERY. Long. Year. 

I believe that I had come to a place in my life where I had become Spiritually complacent. I was leaning on my husband's Spirituality instead of seeking the Father's face on my own. During my brief incarceration, my sweet Jesus sent me gentle reminders that He will do whatever it takes to beckon me to be with Him. This passage is evidence of that.

We are taught as children "God is Love." So this verse is not just about the warm fuzzy romantic emotion that young women pine over, but it is the attributes of our Bridegroom as He waits for us to seek Him. It is no surprise or accident that it starts out with "Patient". The Greek word for this is μακροθυμέω, or makrothumeō (pronounced mak-roth-oo-meh'-o), with a Strong's number of G3114. It means "to be long spirited, that is, (objectively) forbearing or (subjectively) patient: - bear (suffer) long, be longsuffering, have (long) patience, be patient, patiently endure." 

"Patiently endure." Wow! He patiently endures as we choose everything and everyone but Him. He has called us and we have committed ourselves to Him and yet He stands patiently by as we seek out our own wishes, wants, idols, and - even worse - the world.

As I think back, during my trials this past year, I have been anything but patient. I remember begging God for just a glimpse of what He had planned for me. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Father, can You see me? Don't You know this hurts? Don't You realize that I can't handle this. I know You love me and You don't want me to go through this kind of pain, so are You even watching?

God: Yep.

Me: Really? That's it!? That's all You have for me? Why won't You show me what You have planned for me? I NEED to know.

God: I have.

Me: Huh?

God: Check it out in Jeremiah 29:11 or Psalm 46:10

Me: Yes, yes, I know You have plans for me, and, BE STILL and know that You are God. Oh. Wait. Ohhhhhhh. That's what You have planned for me, right now. Just be still. Just trust in Your plan. Ugh, that's so easy. It's so hard. But it's so easy. 

God: Yep.
Maybe your conversations with the Father don't sound quite like that, but me and my Jesus, well we're cool like that. I don't know what's going to happen. My gorgeous husband has just begun a new career as a truck driver and the thought of him being gone for weeks or more at a time is nearly crippling right now, but one thing I know is that God created me in His image AND God is love AND Love is patient. . . .so I can be patient. I can be still and just KNOW that HE.  IS.  GOD. 

If this touched you in some way, or if you have a need that I can pray for, please feel free to comment or send me an email. And K.M. in FL: I am ever constant in prayer for you, C and M. Thanks for reaching out to me. I love you and so does He.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You. You I love and I'm endlessly proud of.