Good morning! I pray that this new week finds you blessed and growing in self-confidence. I apologize for the techinical problems that we had yesterday that makes today's post so late in coming. I pray that on Friday you were able to name two ways in which you had begun to change a negative behavior in your life. For me, I had made a goal to change the behavior and prayed to ask God to help me change. Secondly, I took a step in the right direction and began to actually make the change. My goal was to increase physical activity in my life, so I have started an exercise routine.
This week’s goal is to Kick the Self-Sabotage Habit. So many of us as women find ways to sabotage the good things. We sabotage relationships by starting unnecessary fights or finding all the bad we can in a person. We sabotage our goals by making them too large or too lofty to reach. We sabotage our self-esteem by not believing that we are worthy. The first step in that is believing that we are of “great worth” to someone. How about the Most Important Someone, God? I hope that you still have I Peter 3:3-4 somewhere that you can read it daily "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."
One way that we, as women, can learn to stop sabotaging our self-esteem is to understand a few simple points. The first one is to realize that conflict will happen and it’s not necessarily your fault. You cannot please everyone all the time…and that’s okay. You are not less of a woman if you let someone down or feel that you have. Sometimes, we even make them mad. Sometimes there is even a confrontation. Because of our low self-esteem, we avoid conflict at every opportunity, even if we are right. In order to stop the sabotage and the defeat, we must understand and accept that sometimes we will do things that don’t please other people. We must act out of right. Follow the Word of God and stand firm on it. Act and live within the power of the Spirit, not out of fear of conflict. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)”
The next thing we have to do to kick self-sabotage is to re-examine those things we believe about ourselves that aren’t true. For instance, women who believe they don’t deserve to be in healthy relationships will act in ways that sabotage or defeat good relationships. Women who believe they’re unattractive or worthless will sabotage their own attempts to lose weight or take care of themselves. In order to stop the sabotage here we must stop believing those things about ourselves that aren’t true. We MUST stand on God’s Word and believe Him when He tells us that we are worthy in His sight.
Another thing that we do as women to sabotage ourselves is to procrastinate or make ourselves busy in so many ways. Instead of doing our daily prayer time with God and allowing Him to whisper words of worth to you, you iron that load of laundry that just couldn’t wait another hour. Instead of taking the time to do something to improve yourself, say take a walk with a friend, you decide that you can’t possibly go one more minute without cleaning out the junk drawer. Instead of doing that paperwork that needs to be done, you play on Facebook or check your email. Any of these things can create conflict, giving you another reason to feel down about yourself. They can steal precious time from your family and from your fellowship with the Lord.
Erma Bombeck said, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything You gave me.’”
That is my prayer. That I can defeat self-sabotage and instead, spend my time utilizing the gifts that God has given me to bless and serve others. Know this, you will never achieve your goals if you let fear, adversity or obstacles defeat you. One of my favorite Bible verses is Galatians 5:1,”Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” I even had it tattooed on my ankle, along with the word “Stand” because that is my biggest challenge, standing and not backing down, especially with myself.
This week we are going to take steps to remove some of the sabotage in our lives. Today I just want you to think and really be honest with yourself. Pray and ask God to show you the ways that you sabotage your own goals.