On My Way

Today I want to tell you about something in my life that has nothing to do with sewing or crafts or my house, just life. Ugly, nasty, painful life....and healing. You see, some of you know that I haven't had the greatest life. It has been hard and it has been ugly and I carry with me some pretty painful scars.

I have to be honest that I have carried blame for some things that happened in my past. I have used my past as an excuse to not participate in my life. Some things had hurt me badly enough to create "tapes" in my head that are set on terminal repeat and beat me down. They echo years of self doubt, mistrust and loathing. I sign my blog every time with a reminder that YOU are worth it, but I live my life with the beleif that I am NOT worth my own love. How crummy is that?

What's worse? I didn't even know most of this stuff was even there. I needed someone who I could trust to point them out and when I finally got tired of being beat down, depressed and shut down, I reached out for that help.

That help came in the form of a program called Pathways. Pathways is an amazing experience-based training that takes place over a four month period. I have just started and let me tell you, it has already changed who I am and who I want to be. I know that I want to love me, I want to find the strength to stand and find joy within my own perception of me.

I am going through this journey with 37 other people. THIRTY-SEVEN hurting souls. THIRTY-SEVEN broken hearts. My friends and I need a little help, if have it to spare. We need your love, your support, and your prayers. Please keep us in your thoughts for the next several months as we battle our inner pain, demons, whatever you want to call it and learn to love and accept ourselves. We would truly appreciate it.

Also, this is not an inexpensive experience. The next step, the Walk, it $800, plus 5 nights in a hotel, and meals. Most of our group is all set, but a few of us are struggling to make this next CRUCIAL step a reality. If you are in a position to help someone LITERALLY save their life, please reach out, send me an email or visit the Pathways Website and click the Donate button. If you choose to donate via the Pathways website, please be sure to email me so that I can give my name and class number so that the wonderful staff knows which class needs to receive your donation.

Thanks for reading, thank you for your prayers, and thank you for being here with me through this amazing journey. And if you need help, if you are hurting, depressed or considering ending your own life, please reach out to me??? Please let me share this amaznig tool, this amaznig gift from God with you? It just might save your life.

I Have a New Husband

And I love him so much! This new love is so amazing that I can't help but share it with everyone.

Many of you know that Vaughn left early this month to go to Pathways. I asked for your love, your prayers, and many of you, I have asked for donations. My husband left me that day and I must admit I'm glad he's gone. He learned there that he had never really loved me. He learned there that he never really loved himself. He learned there that he never really loved God the way he should.

Through a series of exercises that help you to find yourself, your pain, your inner demons - if you will - and your inner child, Vaughn died and this new man found life. The man that struggled with love, commitment, and even his own salvation was left in the rubble of the past and a new man emerged from the ashes.

I can't tell you his story, it's not mine to tell...but I will tell you mine. I leave in a week and a half to go to Pathways myself and I must confess that it's coming way too slowly. You see, if you don't know this about me, I am insecure, untrusting and I live in fear daily. I want to learn to love me so that I can truly love you. Each of you. The people that I come in contact with every day.

If you want to know more about Pathways you can find it on the web at createagreatlife.org

I need your help. Will you please pray for me?  Vaughn goes back at the same time for his classes, you see he's not done yet, he's still learning and growing. Will you please pray for him? We can use all of the prayers that we can get. Also, it's not an inexpensive program, but to me it's worth it. If you can donate, even a small amount, there's a donate button on the website you can put in my name or Vaughn's and help bless us on this journey.

Most of all, if you want to know how you can find this kind of healing, I can promise you that there's not a single person on this earth who wouldn't benefit from it, please give us a call. We would love to help you to get there.

How and What to Feed an Orphan Foal

Wow, since I introduced my baby, several people have asked about how and what to feed an orphan foal, so I will share what I have learned. Please, keep in mind that this is all simply from my research online, in books, and with vets. I am not a vet and I do not play one on TV.

First thing we'll cover is WHAT to feed. I found more answers for this than I could contain. The common consensus is that the BEST possible solution for the foal is to find a nurse mare. I even learned that you can even rent one in some places. This gives the foal the closest possible solution to its mother's milk...another horse's milk.

If that is not an option you have several choices:

1. Foal Milk Replacer: The most common is Foal Lac, carried at most feed stores and formulated to mimic horse milk. I have read that you want to keep an eye on a foal with this, as it can cause diarrhea. An equine or porcine electrolyte solution will help with this as well as Conklin Fastrack probiotics. 
2. Calf Milk Replacer: If you're like me and this is all your feed store carries, it will do as long as it doesn't contain antibiotics. Watch this also, as it can cause scours as well, so you'll want to treat it as I mentioned above. 
3. Goat's Milk (fresh): Another awesome solution, as it contains antibodies and is natural rather than synthetic. It can be pricey; however, so may not be the best option for some folks. Around $10 a gallon or more and most foals will drink a gallon or more a day. 
4. 2% Milk: Yup, that's right, people milk...well, cow's milk, really, but the milk that we drink, right from the grocery store. Whole milk has too much fat in it, so 2% it must be. Only one drawback, 2% milk does not contain enough sugar, so you will need to add a tablespoon of honey per pint. How's that for a sweet colt??

So there you go, the best options I found for what to feed your foal. Do your research, check on your own and decide what is best for you and your baby. Most foals will drink 2-4 pints every 6 hours for the first several months. I allow my foal to drink until he is done. At 2 months, we're right at 4 pints a feeding.

Next, HOW to feed.

First thing you have to do (hopefully just for the first feeding, the first few perhaps) is restrain the baby. He doesn't know that you are here to feed him and he is scared of you. It will take more than one person for this first few feedings. The first thing is to restrain the baby. I did not have a helper to take a picture of this, so I borrowed this picture from AQHA's website:

 Hold the baby around the neck and the rump securely so that the person feeding can use both hands to feed the baby.

Feeding has two options, bottle or bucket. I started with the bottle and moved to the bucket. I read that the bottle feeding causes really mouthy babies who become really mouthy horses who don't respect your space.

To bottle feed, you may have to use your fingers to open the baby's mouth a time or two so that you can introduce a bottle. A calf bottle is really too big for most foals. A lamb bottle or a leather glove attached to a soda bottle will work as well. I had to squeeze the bottle a bit the first time so he would realize that there was milk in it, once he figured that out, he sucked it down like a champ.

To bucket feed, once the foal knows the smell of the milk, he may just take to it, that's what my baby did. Others, you will have to show them. Simply guide their muzzle down into the bucket and encourage suckling by putting a finger in their mouth. Once they begin to suck and get the milk, you're all set.

I hope that this information helps someone else. I will post more information as we go. I will post how I halter trained him and taught him to give me his feet, as well as introducing him to the other horses. Thanks for stopping by.

Hidalgo, the Orphan Foal

Hello! I wanted to introduce a new family member today and tell you a little more about his story.

Towards the end of June we got a phone call from a friend who had a new colt and  was telling us about it. I jokingly said I would bring him home and he could live in the living room and I would bottle feed him.

His tone became very somber and he told me of an orphan horse colt (a boy) who would need a place to go in the next few days. So....this is Hidalgo. I am not sure exactly when his birthday is, but he came to live with us on June 31. I was told he was, "about a month old" at that time and we began a journey together learning to raise an orphaned foal.

The first feeding was very scary and even seemed mean. I waited a few hours and made sure he was hungry. Having never done this before I had no idea what to expect. A cowboy said it would be much like trying to feed a wild deer and that I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. He wasn't joking. So I enlisted some help who had to corner and hold the baby while I showed him the bottle. Well, more like force this giant nipple into the mouth of a terrified 100 pound jackrabbit with legs longer than mine that only wanted to get away. He was scared and honestly, I was too. Most of all, I was afraid he would get hurt.

But he weathered through and our second feeding was much easier

There was nowhere to get foal milk replacer anywhere near me, so I had to use calf milk replacer without antibiotics in it. We also gave a few initial doses of Conklin's Fastrack Equine Gel to get some Probiotics in his belly. A few days later, I found a super nice new friend in the next town over who had some goat's milk and bought a few gallons to get some good antibodies in him as well.

A few days later, I opened his pen up to the run, allowing him to get outside and have more space to run. I lined the outside of his run with hog panels so that the big horses couldn't harm him. They got to know each other very well through the panels though. He looked at the open door like it was his chance and ran around his little pen like he was doing something wrong. Every pass, he would stop and nuzzle my arm. I think he was making sure I was watching him play.

About three days in, the calf bottle was really bugging Hidalgo, the nipple was big and seemed a bit much for him, so we switched over to a bucket for feeding and he really started eating more. I began adding some Mare & Foal feed to what was left in his bucket at the end of each feeding and he began to mimic the big horses and eat grain when they did. He is now down to two feedings of milk a day and a full scoop of Mare & Foal.

Early last week, the kids and I introduced the halter to our baby

It was easy as pie. It had been hanging in his stall for a few days so he knew it wouldn't hurt him. We slipped it on and he wore it all day for the rest of the week. After two days we started learning to lead. This process can be very easy if you use the proper tools. With the help of a butt rope, Hidalgo was leading in about 20 minutes.

Hidalgo has since learned to back and give all four feet in preparation for our first visit with the farrier. We will begin working on loading in a trailer soon and are working on bending and flexing our head so that rein training will be much easier when that time comes.

I know some of you don't care much about horses, but if you do and you want to follow along his journey, please feel free to check back often. Please leave comments and questions, as I am still learning on how to raise an orphan colt and would like to help and get any help I can. Until then, here's one last picture of my beautiful baby for you all to see

And for my friends who are joking about a baby shower, remember all my tack is dark purple. Hidalgo would love a nice weanling halter, lead rope with snap, and a colt size jolly ball. I am just playing around but I'll update you on his progress very soon!