Hi there! Back up at a new location!

If anyone is still around and getting notifications on this old blog, I am in the process of restarting “Kaci’s Ramblings” on Wordpress!! Come find me there at Kaci’s Ramblings

Guess Who's Back!?

Hello friends, 

I got away from this blog for some very silly reasons but I am back. Over the next few days I will be updating the look of the site and getting back to why I originally started writing this thing. If you're been here a while, say hi?

Is Anyone Out There

I have no idea if anyone still reads this blog besides the thirty people a day who come here looking for my article about saving my wood floors. Gosh, it seems like a hundred years have passed since those floors. It certainly has been several lifetimes ago. So much has changed but I'm still here. I am considering revamping this blog and getting it back going...

Love is....

I Corinthians 13: 4-13. As Christian women, we love this section of the Bible. It is the topic of countless memes sent via Home Interiors decor, email quotes, Facebook images and more. It is the romantic hope of our Prince Charming as young ladies. It is Spiritual food during those first few years as a young wife. It is a standing ground during many late night arguments, pleas for marital attention, and early morning meetings with the Father (sobbing, on our knees). 

Some of you have noticed I've been silent for a while. Wedding plans stopped, life took an ugly turn for the worse, and I found myself in a dark, desolate place in my life. . . but here we are. God brought me back here. Back to this place where I seek Him through prayer, through study, through writing - and then - I share it with you. 

In less than a year I have been at the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I have been planning a wedding, charged with a crime, incarcerated, sold everything we owned to start a new life, separated from my husband, moved (at least) three times, been through an amazing Spiritual and emotional training, donated a kidney to save the life of a stranger, and reunited with my love. It is an understatement when I tell you that it has been a VERY. Long. Year. 

I believe that I had come to a place in my life where I had become Spiritually complacent. I was leaning on my husband's Spirituality instead of seeking the Father's face on my own. During my brief incarceration, my sweet Jesus sent me gentle reminders that He will do whatever it takes to beckon me to be with Him. This passage is evidence of that.

We are taught as children "God is Love." So this verse is not just about the warm fuzzy romantic emotion that young women pine over, but it is the attributes of our Bridegroom as He waits for us to seek Him. It is no surprise or accident that it starts out with "Patient". The Greek word for this is μακροθυμέω, or makrothumeō (pronounced mak-roth-oo-meh'-o), with a Strong's number of G3114. It means "to be long spirited, that is, (objectively) forbearing or (subjectively) patient: - bear (suffer) long, be longsuffering, have (long) patience, be patient, patiently endure." 

"Patiently endure." Wow! He patiently endures as we choose everything and everyone but Him. He has called us and we have committed ourselves to Him and yet He stands patiently by as we seek out our own wishes, wants, idols, and - even worse - the world.

As I think back, during my trials this past year, I have been anything but patient. I remember begging God for just a glimpse of what He had planned for me. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Father, can You see me? Don't You know this hurts? Don't You realize that I can't handle this. I know You love me and You don't want me to go through this kind of pain, so are You even watching?

God: Yep.

Me: Really? That's it!? That's all You have for me? Why won't You show me what You have planned for me? I NEED to know.

God: I have.

Me: Huh?

God: Check it out in Jeremiah 29:11 or Psalm 46:10

Me: Yes, yes, I know You have plans for me, and, BE STILL and know that You are God. Oh. Wait. Ohhhhhhh. That's what You have planned for me, right now. Just be still. Just trust in Your plan. Ugh, that's so easy. It's so hard. But it's so easy. 

God: Yep.

Maybe your conversations with the Father don't sound quite like that, but me and my Jesus, well we're cool like that. I don't know what's going to happen. My gorgeous husband has just begun a new career as a truck driver and the thought of him being gone for weeks or more at a time is nearly crippling right now, but one thing I know is that God created me in His image AND God is love AND Love is patient. . . .so I can be patient. I can be still and just KNOW that HE.  IS.  GOD. 

If this touched you in some way, or if you have a need that I can pray for, please feel free to comment or send me an email. And K.M. in FL: I am ever constant in prayer for you, C and M. Thanks for reaching out to me. I love you and so does He.

On My Way

Today I want to tell you about something in my life that has nothing to do with sewing or crafts or my house, just life. Ugly, nasty, painful life....and healing. You see, some of you know that I haven't had the greatest life. It has been hard and it has been ugly and I carry with me some pretty painful scars.

I have to be honest that I have carried blame for some things that happened in my past. I have used my past as an excuse to not participate in my life. Some things had hurt me badly enough to create "tapes" in my head that are set on terminal repeat and beat me down. They echo years of self doubt, mistrust and loathing. I sign my blog every time with a reminder that YOU are worth it, but I live my life with the beleif that I am NOT worth my own love. How crummy is that?

What's worse? I didn't even know most of this stuff was even there. I needed someone who I could trust to point them out and when I finally got tired of being beat down, depressed and shut down, I reached out for that help.

That help came in the form of a program called Pathways. Pathways is an amazing experience-based training that takes place over a four month period. I have just started and let me tell you, it has already changed who I am and who I want to be. I know that I want to love me, I want to find the strength to stand and find joy within my own perception of me.

I am going through this journey with 37 other people. THIRTY-SEVEN hurting souls. THIRTY-SEVEN broken hearts. My friends and I need a little help, if have it to spare. We need your love, your support, and your prayers. Please keep us in your thoughts for the next several months as we battle our inner pain, demons, whatever you want to call it and learn to love and accept ourselves. We would truly appreciate it.

Also, this is not an inexpensive experience. The next step, the Walk, it $800, plus 5 nights in a hotel, and meals. Most of our group is all set, but a few of us are struggling to make this next CRUCIAL step a reality. If you are in a position to help someone LITERALLY save their life, please reach out, send me an email or visit the Pathways Website and click the Donate button. If you choose to donate via the Pathways website, please be sure to email me so that I can give my name and class number so that the wonderful staff knows which class needs to receive your donation.

Thanks for reading, thank you for your prayers, and thank you for being here with me through this amazing journey. And if you need help, if you are hurting, depressed or considering ending your own life, please reach out to me??? Please let me share this amaznig tool, this amaznig gift from God with you? It just might save your life.

I Have a New Husband

And I love him so much! This new love is so amazing that I can't help but share it with everyone.

Many of you know that Vaughn left early this month to go to Pathways. I asked for your love, your prayers, and many of you, I have asked for donations. My husband left me that day and I must admit I'm glad he's gone. He learned there that he had never really loved me. He learned there that he never really loved himself. He learned there that he never really loved God the way he should.

Through a series of exercises that help you to find yourself, your pain, your inner demons - if you will - and your inner child, Vaughn died and this new man found life. The man that struggled with love, commitment, and even his own salvation was left in the rubble of the past and a new man emerged from the ashes.

I can't tell you his story, it's not mine to tell...but I will tell you mine. I leave in a week and a half to go to Pathways myself and I must confess that it's coming way too slowly. You see, if you don't know this about me, I am insecure, untrusting and I live in fear daily. I want to learn to love me so that I can truly love you. Each of you. The people that I come in contact with every day.

If you want to know more about Pathways you can find it on the web at createagreatlife.org

I need your help. Will you please pray for me?  Vaughn goes back at the same time for his classes, you see he's not done yet, he's still learning and growing. Will you please pray for him? We can use all of the prayers that we can get. Also, it's not an inexpensive program, but to me it's worth it. If you can donate, even a small amount, there's a donate button on the website you can put in my name or Vaughn's and help bless us on this journey.

Most of all, if you want to know how you can find this kind of healing, I can promise you that there's not a single person on this earth who wouldn't benefit from it, please give us a call. We would love to help you to get there.

How and What to Feed an Orphan Foal

Wow, since I introduced my baby, several people have asked about how and what to feed an orphan foal, so I will share what I have learned. Please, keep in mind that this is all simply from my research online, in books, and with vets. I am not a vet and I do not play one on TV.

First thing we'll cover is WHAT to feed. I found more answers for this than I could contain. The common consensus is that the BEST possible solution for the foal is to find a nurse mare. I even learned that you can even rent one in some places. This gives the foal the closest possible solution to its mother's milk...another horse's milk.

If that is not an option you have several choices:

1. Foal Milk Replacer: The most common is Foal Lac, carried at most feed stores and formulated to mimic horse milk. I have read that you want to keep an eye on a foal with this, as it can cause diarrhea. An equine or porcine electrolyte solution will help with this as well as Conklin Fastrack probiotics. 
2. Calf Milk Replacer: If you're like me and this is all your feed store carries, it will do as long as it doesn't contain antibiotics. Watch this also, as it can cause scours as well, so you'll want to treat it as I mentioned above. 
3. Goat's Milk (fresh): Another awesome solution, as it contains antibodies and is natural rather than synthetic. It can be pricey; however, so may not be the best option for some folks. Around $10 a gallon or more and most foals will drink a gallon or more a day. 
4. 2% Milk: Yup, that's right, people milk...well, cow's milk, really, but the milk that we drink, right from the grocery store. Whole milk has too much fat in it, so 2% it must be. Only one drawback, 2% milk does not contain enough sugar, so you will need to add a tablespoon of honey per pint. How's that for a sweet colt??

So there you go, the best options I found for what to feed your foal. Do your research, check on your own and decide what is best for you and your baby. Most foals will drink 2-4 pints every 6 hours for the first several months. I allow my foal to drink until he is done. At 2 months, we're right at 4 pints a feeding.

Next, HOW to feed.

First thing you have to do (hopefully just for the first feeding, the first few perhaps) is restrain the baby. He doesn't know that you are here to feed him and he is scared of you. It will take more than one person for this first few feedings. The first thing is to restrain the baby. I did not have a helper to take a picture of this, so I borrowed this picture from AQHA's website:

 Hold the baby around the neck and the rump securely so that the person feeding can use both hands to feed the baby.

Feeding has two options, bottle or bucket. I started with the bottle and moved to the bucket. I read that the bottle feeding causes really mouthy babies who become really mouthy horses who don't respect your space.

To bottle feed, you may have to use your fingers to open the baby's mouth a time or two so that you can introduce a bottle. A calf bottle is really too big for most foals. A lamb bottle or a leather glove attached to a soda bottle will work as well. I had to squeeze the bottle a bit the first time so he would realize that there was milk in it, once he figured that out, he sucked it down like a champ.

To bucket feed, once the foal knows the smell of the milk, he may just take to it, that's what my baby did. Others, you will have to show them. Simply guide their muzzle down into the bucket and encourage suckling by putting a finger in their mouth. Once they begin to suck and get the milk, you're all set.

I hope that this information helps someone else. I will post more information as we go. I will post how I halter trained him and taught him to give me his feet, as well as introducing him to the other horses. Thanks for stopping by.

Hidalgo, the Orphan Foal

Hello! I wanted to introduce a new family member today and tell you a little more about his story.

Towards the end of June we got a phone call from a friend who had a new colt and  was telling us about it. I jokingly said I would bring him home and he could live in the living room and I would bottle feed him.

His tone became very somber and he told me of an orphan horse colt (a boy) who would need a place to go in the next few days. So....this is Hidalgo. I am not sure exactly when his birthday is, but he came to live with us on June 31. I was told he was, "about a month old" at that time and we began a journey together learning to raise an orphaned foal.

The first feeding was very scary and even seemed mean. I waited a few hours and made sure he was hungry. Having never done this before I had no idea what to expect. A cowboy said it would be much like trying to feed a wild deer and that I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. He wasn't joking. So I enlisted some help who had to corner and hold the baby while I showed him the bottle. Well, more like force this giant nipple into the mouth of a terrified 100 pound jackrabbit with legs longer than mine that only wanted to get away. He was scared and honestly, I was too. Most of all, I was afraid he would get hurt.

But he weathered through and our second feeding was much easier

There was nowhere to get foal milk replacer anywhere near me, so I had to use calf milk replacer without antibiotics in it. We also gave a few initial doses of Conklin's Fastrack Equine Gel to get some Probiotics in his belly. A few days later, I found a super nice new friend in the next town over who had some goat's milk and bought a few gallons to get some good antibodies in him as well.

A few days later, I opened his pen up to the run, allowing him to get outside and have more space to run. I lined the outside of his run with hog panels so that the big horses couldn't harm him. They got to know each other very well through the panels though. He looked at the open door like it was his chance and ran around his little pen like he was doing something wrong. Every pass, he would stop and nuzzle my arm. I think he was making sure I was watching him play.

About three days in, the calf bottle was really bugging Hidalgo, the nipple was big and seemed a bit much for him, so we switched over to a bucket for feeding and he really started eating more. I began adding some Mare & Foal feed to what was left in his bucket at the end of each feeding and he began to mimic the big horses and eat grain when they did. He is now down to two feedings of milk a day and a full scoop of Mare & Foal.

Early last week, the kids and I introduced the halter to our baby

It was easy as pie. It had been hanging in his stall for a few days so he knew it wouldn't hurt him. We slipped it on and he wore it all day for the rest of the week. After two days we started learning to lead. This process can be very easy if you use the proper tools. With the help of a butt rope, Hidalgo was leading in about 20 minutes.

Hidalgo has since learned to back and give all four feet in preparation for our first visit with the farrier. We will begin working on loading in a trailer soon and are working on bending and flexing our head so that rein training will be much easier when that time comes.

I know some of you don't care much about horses, but if you do and you want to follow along his journey, please feel free to check back often. Please leave comments and questions, as I am still learning on how to raise an orphan colt and would like to help and get any help I can. Until then, here's one last picture of my beautiful baby for you all to see

And for my friends who are joking about a baby shower, remember all my tack is dark purple. Hidalgo would love a nice weanling halter, lead rope with snap, and a colt size jolly ball. I am just playing around but I'll update you on his progress very soon!

Wedding Dress....the creation...

Good morning! I am so glad you stopped by! Whoa, I sound like Mr. Rogers. Okay, so let's skip all the salutations and move right along. 

We are so busy right now, with work and kids and remodeling a house for some friends (a TOTAL remodel of a huge house) so I haven't had much time at the sewing machine, but I have been stealing every spare second and I am slowly making some progress. The first step in making my dress is the corset. I am wearing a corset under the bodice of my dress to help give the shape I want as well as to give support a little better than a simple strapless or long-line bra. I was going to make the bodice of the dress with a built-in corset, but I have changed my mind on that so that if my daughter or someone else wants to wear the dress later on, taking it in would be much easier than having to take in 5 layers of bodice and corset. 

Right now I am working on my very first corset ever. It's kind of exciting and fun. I may have to make another as we get closer to time, since I am hoping to order the Insanity workout next week, and will most likely need a smaller size. But for now, I wanted to share my progress on the first steps of making my wedding dress. 

In order to preserve my patterns for later use, I trace the size I need onto wax paper with a Sharpie and use that for my pattern so that the original stays in tact.

 

The most tedious part of any sewing project for me is the tracing and cutting out of the pattern pieces and the fabric. Sometimes it just stresses me out, but I digress. Once the patterns are all traced onto the wax paper, I pin them to the test fabric (muslin) to create my mock-up for fitting purposes. 

You'll notice that I trace every note, line and arrow, so that I actually have a complete pattern in the size I need. This allows me to put away the original pattern and rely solely on the wax paper copy, preventing any accidents. 

Then I follow the instructions to piecing the garment together and create my "muslin" or test fitting piece. 

If any changes need to be made, they will be marked right onto the fabric and those marks transferred onto the wax paper so that I have those for any future copies of the same garment. You would use this if you really liked this piece and wanted to make another one in another fabric color, style, or texture. This fits swimmingly, so on to the next step: starting with the actual fabric with washing, drying, cutting, and then piecing! Hope to have that for you soon, be patient friends, the wedding isn't until December!!

 

Getting Started - Wedding Dress

I am so excited to share this post with you! I have started the wedding dress. Well, demo mode anyway.  If you haven't seen it before, this is the dress I started with (in ivory, not champagne). The bodice and outer layer will be remade, the inner layers will remain the same, and the sash...well, I just don't know what I am doing with it. 

Also, since this is a December wedding, I plan to add a shrug. My original plan was to make the shrug out of lace, but it may end up satin instead. It just depends on what I can find to make it out of. 

For those of you who don't know, our wedding is going to be very country with the guys wearing Wrangler 47 MWZ pre-washed jeans and my girls wearing boots with their dresses. In order to be uniquely me, I plan to make my dress out of denim, with some satin and lace to keep a traditional feel.I am so blessed to say that Wrangler has GENEROUSLY provided the exact material that the jeans are made of for my endeavor. The only problem is that they couldn't pre-wash the denim without streaking it so I will have to find a way to was it myself before ever letting it touch the satin as the blue from the denim could bleed onto the satin. The outer skirt is one HUGE piece, instead of sections pieced together, so I have no idea how to wash it without the streaking issues that they had at the factory. If you have any hints, tips or tricks, please feel free to share them. 

The first step was taking the dress apart at the seams.  It was a tedious process but it was so much fun sharing this time and experience with my sweet little girl. 

When you undertake a project like this, it's important to have some extra hands to pull gently as you pull the seams. Just be sure they don't pull too hard so as not to rip any material. Also, when dealing with fabric, remember to wash your hands and working surface so that you don't stain your fabric.

Although very wrinkled from storage, this beautiful piece is the inner layers of the skirting, the part of the original dress that will be part of the new dress.

 This is the original bodice, made for a shorter bodied woman, and of course, not denim.

This is the original outer skirt, beautiful and full, but also, not denim. I will use this piece as the pattern and remake this exact piece out of the 47 MWZ denim. I am thinking of making this part removable, to make dancing easier. 

I know that several of you are following along with the process and I just thank you so much! I can't wait to share the finished product with you! Check back soon!

Bridesmaid's Dresses

Today was a wonderful day. Some of the closest people in my life took time out to spend the day with me...planning for my day. It was just amazing.

I spent the morning first with the wonderful ladies at our local Viking Store. Betsy and Jeanne at Viking we so kind and caring and helped me to straighten out a huge sewing machine mess. Then I made an appointment at David's for my Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor and my beautiful Junior Bridesmaid to try on dresses. 

We picked some amazing dresses and Michelle at David's Amarillo was a great joy to work with:

Both choices will be worn with the shrug shown on the junior bridesmaid in the first picture, since bare shoulders seem wrong for me given we're having a December wedding. All I have left is a single bridesmaid and my wedding party will have chosen their dresses. I am so blessed to have each of these ladies in my life.

Stay tuned, in the next few weeks, I will begin the step by step journey on making my dress!!!

What's in a Year?

That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.

So is a year still a year if you're not ready for it to be? Of course it is, but it is still so hard. In a couple of short weeks we will once again be upon Mom's birthday. Only days after that, the first anniversary of her passing.

I miss her so much. There are days when I want to run across the street and tell her about something amazing or cry to her because she always listened when my feelings were hurt. I want to bring her the kittens that my barn cat just gave birth to so that she can remark about how tiny they are. I want her to see how beautiful my little girl is becomg and the man my son has grown into. At Christmas I missed her as I was holding her newborn great-grandson. On Mother's Day I missed spending entirely too much money on her garden and getting my first sunburn of the year planting her beautiful sanctuary.

Do I have anything of any merit to say today? Not really, just viewing the last 12 months in retrospect, missing my friend, and grieving my beloved mother-in-law.

The moon covered the sun last night, like the sadness over my heart.
I ride the wind in my face, my horse running,
the tears drip from my chin as I breathe in meories of you.
Your love was a soft place to land, a veritable hiding place
Your lessons never forgotten, handwriting scribbled on my heart forever.
I long to talk to you, to ask advice, to share my sadness, my joy
Even our petty arguments, those of a mother and daughter, lost, gone
I am blessed. I am a better person to have had you in my life for a time.
I am honored. I am a stronger woman for having loved you.
I am incomplete. Part of me gone until that day we meet again.
I love you. I miss you.
K. Lusk 5/21/2012

Getting Started - Wedding Dress

Tomorrow, my baby girl and I hope to spend some time working on my wedding dress. It has taken some time to get to this point, but I am very excited!

We have to take apart the dresses I am using for fabric and make mock-ups for the new dress.

For those of you who don't know, I am actually getting my fabric from Wrangler!!

 

Are Kindle's Safe for kids?

I love to read, always have. My kids love to read, I thank God for that. Every Christmas, they want books, that brings me joy. Last Christmas I got "Code Talkers" for Austin, he loved it, still talks about it. That makes me smile.

So this year when we were considering getting them Kindles, I researched parental controls...NONE. The children can get on the internet if it is connected to a network and there is no way to secure that. Most parents also add the child's Kindle to their own account, which is connected to their credit card, which allows you to purchase content - any content - with one simple click.

While one-click purchasing is great and convenient for me, I would like to make sure my kid can't just buy $400 worth of books and magazines on a whim. So here's my solution to parental control on my minor children's Kindles for Christmas.

I set each of the kids up their own email address just for the Kindle on gmail and set them to forward to my email address. I signed each of the kids up for their own Amazon.com account using that email address. I got each child an Amazon.com Kindle gift card and set that card as the payment method for their Kindle. So when that $$ is gone, they're done. They will be able to save their money and buy their own gift cards, receive gifts cards as gifts, or anyone with an Amazon.com account may "gift" them books. So if they would like me or their father to buy them a book, we can do that and "gift" it to them.

Also, anything that they purchase or download for free, it sends an email to their email address. That email comes to my email so I know what they just got. Then, since I have the only password to their account, if I don't approve of the book they just bought, I can return the book for a refund, or simply delete it. I also don't give my kids my internet code, so to get on the network, they have to give me their Kindle to connect it and I turn the wireless off and tell the Kindle to forget the connection when I am done. So no browsing without me, and they know I check Histories.

So, although Amazon doesn't offer any type of set "Parental Control" this parent has taken control and given the given of digital literature! Merry Christmas, friends!

My Dream Wedding - Second Chances - Our Rings

One thing we look forward to every year here in the Texas Panhandle, is the WRCA Ranch Rodeo National Finals. We wait and wait every year to see the guys busting their tails to do real ranch tasks, to see who is the best of the best as far a working ranch rodeo hands. 

We also really enjoy the trade show that comes along with it. We spend hours, literally, cruising the aisles looking for tack (that's gear for your horses and such, for those of you not in the horse world), clothing, and treasures. We've been watching for ideas for the wedding, of course and found a huge key element...our rings. 

We met a super guy named Beau Compton, and his beautiful family this weekend. Beau is an amazing silversmith and makes everything from rings to saddle kits to buckles, and does a gorgeous job at affordable prices...you will be pleasantly surprised. Our rings will be similar to this picture, with a few small tweaks and I have also requested a special surprise for my beloved on our special day. Shhhh, don't tell him, though....

Beau is a few months out on orders, so if you need something, be sure to give him plenty of time. But if you need something special for someone special, this is the guy for the job!! Check him out at BeauCompton.com

Over The Top

Oh my goodness, did I have a great weekend!!! I had second row seats to an amazing experience with God! 

Thanks to the fine folks at Thomas Nelson Publishers, I received two tickets to the Women of Faith, Over the Top conference in OKC this weekend. Not only did I get to take part in some amazing worship, hear a great Word from the Father, but I spent some quality time with one of my closest friends, Sharon. 

I also got to hear one of my all time favorite artists, live, from the second row:

 Amy Grant, still serving Him, still wonderful and beautiful after all this time. I had this song on cassette...kids, ask your moms what that is.

We also heard some amazing and uplifting words from women who have lived lives just like ours, know hurt just like ours, and have found healing in a God who loves us so big that it can be felt, seen and heard.


Here are some pictures of the speakers:

Each of the ladies above touched my life this weekend, taught me something, or gave me something I could take with me as I left the arena and began a new Over the Top life. 

This last picture is the beautiful worship team.

Their CD, Rejoice, is my net review from Thomas Nelson Publishers, I promise, it's a must have for your collection. Besides, it's great for the drive to any Woman of Faith event.

Speaking of events, here are some for you, just click the picture for the website:

Awesome music, straight-talking messages, drama, and a ton of fun combine for an event just for teen girls:

Next Year's Tour:

I am trying to organize a group for next year's Celebrate Event in OKC. The kick off of the tour in August. If you're interested in going and getting group pricing, please email me or leave a comment.